Some doctors are stupid!

I was in the doctor’s office today getting prepared for a simple procedure that 99% percent of you will never have to get or even worry about in your life. The last time I saw this doc was a year ago where he performed the same procedure on me that he did today. The doc was explaining how my cancer is rare and that he usually deals with people with ovarian, breast, or lung cancer, and when those people are at such a late stage in the cancer that he won’t see them one year later. Great doc, so I’m suppose to be dead by now, is that what your saying? I am the luckiest man in the world, I guess. It’s different knowing and understanding yourself that I will be living with cancer for the rest of my life; however, hearing stuff like that from the doctor really jolts the system. It really puts things into perspective.

I have always believed in the good old hearty laugh. A good laugh to make you feel better when your feeling down. However, today I realized the power of a good cry. Sometimes laughter is not always the right emotion to let out. The only thing to get me through today was a cry. It felt good. However, I do think I need a good laugh soon. FYI.

For two weeks now, I have had difficulty breathing. I went to my first day of classes the day after Labor Day and could barely talk because I could not breathe and it took me for ever to walk to my second class because I was out of breath. Shit that should not be happening to any person. Even if I am sick, I should still be able to do normal daily things like walking. I called out sick to school and went to the doctors, so I could start breathing. However, because I looked so good sitting in the wheel chair there was nothing for the doctor to do apparently. My sweet ass goat-tee and dark tan can fool any doctor, for looking good even though I could barely breathe. The CAT scan we got two weeks ago showed fluid in my lungs. This isn’t my first rodeo with fluid in my lungs. It took two weeks for the doctors to finally do something and that was just ordering oxygen. Just about how pissed should I be at my doctor? I guess thats a good first step. Anyway, the nurse called the next day to come in to the office to get the lung tapped. So that procedure I got that most of you will not be receiving was me getting my left lung tapped. I got 2 liters of fluid taken out of my left lung. No wonder I couldn’t breathe!!!!!

Now, my real dilemma is what I do about teaching. The first week of school has passed and I missed three out of the four days. As a math teacher, not a good percentage to start the year. I was on the phone with the union rep about to cry after every word I spoke because I just don’t know what to do. What perfect timing. I want to teach. I want to get out of the house and keep busy instead of sitting home and watching TV. However, I am not really trusting my body these days. The most recent fluid in the lungs to my fractured T1 vertebrae. What do I do? I have this weekend to really think about it because I cannot let these students have more days without a teacher. It is just not fair to them. It doesn’t look like my teaching career starts this year.

I have been just letting my hair grow out because I can for the first time in months. And if you want to see a sweet ass goat-tee you better stop by and check it out soon because it will be leaving soon. Before we get into that, this goat-tee is so freaking cool because the moustache part is ballin’. So if your interested in seeing the coolest moustache ever then you better stop on over to check it out. Well, anyway it will not be around long because chemo will be taking it all away again. I have already gotten my second round of my new chemo friend called Taxotere. I go three weeks on and one week off and this goes for a longer time because it is not as strong as the other stuff I was taking. Eventually, this crap will make me lose my hair again.

This is what I was writing before, so I decided to just keep it in here!

I guess normal is all relative to the people you are talking to or who your talking about. What I consider normal now is so totally out of whack that people who are normal don’t even know the life I live these days. People cannot even fathom that I go through what I go through because I had no idea 2 years ago when I was healthy. I had no idea that people were actually having to live a life like I am these days. I have doctor’s appointments once a month and along with all kinds of scans that I feel like are happening all the time. I have this back pain that I feel like will never go away and when any kind of pain occurs in my body, I have to first think cancer. For example, the past two days have been a bitch with scans. Yesterday I had to get a CT scan of my chest to see how the cancer in my lungs are doing. We hope there has been no change, but we do not not know as of now. Today, I had an incredibly long day. I will leave out what happened in the afternoon because that is the whole reason I have started this blog; however, I can gladly speak about my MRI scan I had scheduled today. We got to the hospital and filled out all the paperwork and were ready to go. As we were on our walk to the MRI room, someone who I will remain nameless, blurted out that I have a gold bar in my eyelid. After my original surgery, the docs put in a gold bar in my eyelid to help with closing that eye. I have never mentioned this for any of my MRI scans because I just don’t think about it at the time. Therefore, the nurse had to talk to the radiologist to make sure it was OK to perform the MRI. I had to get an X-RAY of my head to see where the piece of gold is. Check, got that done. Got the IV put in, check! Then, the radiologist said I was not getting the MRI done. They could not do it. So we had did all that for nothing. I eventually went back the next day to get it done, but come on.