How do I plan for the Future?

I just purchased four sets of Furthur tickets to four different shows.  A set of tickets cost about 150 bucks and all the shows are in March.  March is two months away.  Now, for the normal person two months is nothing.  That will be here in no time.  For me, I have no idea what life is going to send my way at that time.  There is a possibility that I just spent about 600 bucks on these tickets and I won’t be able to use them.  Thats what happened this past Thanksgiving because I got real sick and I could not make it to the annual Railroad Earth Thanksgiving shows.  I payed for tickets and everything.  Thank God, RRE is a little cheaper than Further, so it doesn’t hurt as bad.  So ‘How do I plan for the Future?

I still need to live my life and do the things that I love and what I want to do, but how do I do that with cancer always in the back of my mind.  Its been hard trying to plan for future events when my future is so uncertain.  Annie is going down to Jamaica for a wedding in February and she can bring someone.  Annie asked me, but I cannot give a definite decision because I have no idea what’s going to be going on in my life.  I could be getting chemo the week before; therefore, I would definitely not be able to go down.

When can I start working again?  When should I go back to school?  So many questions I ask myself that I just cannot answer yet.  I just need to live life day by day.  And plan as many shows and festivals that I will go to in the future.

2 Comments

  1. Posted January 18, 2011 at 4:34 pm | Permalink

    I gotta hand it to you. 4 sets of Further tickets is dedication no matter how you slice it.

    Uncertainty is always a difficult pill to swallow. You have already shown an enviable amount of zen-like patience, which is the best anyone can do in any kind of stressful or uncertain circumstances. Zen-like patience.

    The future is full of surprises as you know all too well, but if anyone is due for a good one it is you. So keep looking to the future and don’t stop making plans. =)

  2. jovial.wook.
    Posted January 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    i’ve traveled near & traveled far
    i beat a hole in my guitar
    crawled with the zeroes
    & i stood with my heroes
    & i still got a long way to go

    2/5 comin soon! keep it jovs matty.

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